


I've Got Two Faces

by inspired_fandom_writer



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alcohol, Angry Dean, Blood, Cutting, Depression, Gen, Injury, Kidnapping, Nightmares, Non-Consensual Touching, Pain, Suicidal Thoughts, Swearing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-30
Updated: 2017-09-09
Packaged: 2018-07-27 15:44:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7624465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inspired_fandom_writer/pseuds/inspired_fandom_writer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>First songfic, very angsty Twenty One Pilots. Italics are dreams and bold italics are song lyrics</p>
    </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> First songfic, very angsty Twenty One Pilots. Italics are dreams and bold italics are song lyrics

_I was in the bunker kitchen with tears falling from my eyes and sobs being muffled by my hands. The pain I felt was unimaginable. My blood felt as if it were on fire and my body being crushed by an invisible weight. That’s when I saw her. She looked exactly like me, yet it wasn’t me. She had so much hurt and sadness in her broken eyes. Her wrist had cut marks just like mine. This person in front of me was me, but at the same time was not me. The soul of this girl was shattered._

_The broken other me walked up to the cabinet and grabbed a small bottle. She walked up to me and placed the bottle in my hands, then walked away. It was a bottle of painkillers that Sam and Dean take. Usually, I only take half a pill, but all I wanted was the pain to stop. I opened the bottle and took a handful pills into my hand. No longer caring about whether my cries were heard or not, I swallowed the pills and got another handful to do the same. The pills were kicking in and the pain was getting worse._

“(Y/N) wake up.” My eyes shot open and Dean was by my side shaking my shoulder. Tears were falling down my face, the pain was still there, and I was trembling. That pain was still there, it wouldn’t leave. I couldn’t even look Dean in the eyes. He’s not really good with words so he just scoops me into his arm until I fall back asleep.

It had been three days since that night and Sam and Dean made me take a break from hunting. The boys had Cas watching me when they weren’t there. For the most part, I just sat in my room tuning out the world with music.  I favored Twenty One Pilots whenever I needed comfort. Yes, the boys were there for me, but it wasn’t the same.

**_I have these thoughts_  
So often I ought  
To replace that slot  
With what I once bought  
‘Cause somebody stole  
My car radio  
And now I just sit in silence**

**_Sometimes quiet is violent_  
I find it hard to hide it  
My pride is no longer inside  
It’s on my sleeve  
My skin will scream  
Reminding me of  
Who I killed inside my dream  
I hate this car that I’m driving  
There’s no hiding for me  
I’m forced to deal with what I feel  
There is no distraction to mask what is real  
I could pull the steering wheel**

All I could think about was my nightmare. That pain I felt and my own personal Blurryface was constantly on my mind. After being lost in my thoughts for who knows how long, the angel with the trench coat came in with a sandwich and a glass of water. “(Y/N) you need to eat.” “I’m not that hungry, thanks though.” The Castiel  looked at me with those innocent cobalt eyes. “When was the last time you ate,” he asked. I wait a few seconds trying to think, “I don’t know what day is it.” Damn I couldn’t stand those pleading eyes, I took the sandwich and started eating it. Of course, it was PB and J, “Thanks, Cas.”

“Y/N?”  I looked up, “Yes?” The poor guy looked so nervous as to what he was about to say. “What happening with you? Sam and Dean tell me that this is not something I can heal.” I knew eventually he would have asked me about this sooner or later. “Um… Cas it’s an emotion thing and kinda the way my brain is, angel grace can’t fix it.” Just when I thought he couldn’t look sadder, he did. “What can I do to help you feel better?” “I don’t think you can.”

**_Oh, Miss Believer, my pretty sleeper_  
Your twisted mind is like snow on the road  
Your shaking shoulders prove that it’s colder  
Inside your head than the winter of dead**

Later that night I couldn’t sleep, I was still sore and had a headache. I was definitely not going to take any pain meds for it. Since I had time I decide to go to the library and catch up on some lore books. My earbuds were in so I didn’t hear the giant Winchester walk in. “Hey (Y/N).” I yelped in surprise. “Relax it’s just me.” My heart was trying to slow down from the scare I just had. “Dammit Sam, why are you even up?” “I could ask you the same question.” I felt bad for making them all worry so much so I lied, “I slept most of the day. It messed up my sleep schedule.” He was hesitant to speak, probably because I looked like shit. “Are you sure you’re okay? You know you can talk to me right.” “Yeah, I know Sam. I’m actually going to go try and sleep, night.” “Night.”

**_Scared of my own image, scared of my own immaturity,_  
Scared of my own ceiling, scared I’ll die of uncertainty,  
Fear might be the death of me, fear leads to anxiety,  
Don’t know what’s inside of me.  
  
Don’t forget about me,  
Don’t forget about me,  
Even when I doubt you,  
I’m no good without you, no, no  
  
Temperature is dropping, temperature is dropping,  
I’m not sure if I can see this ever stopping,  
Shaking hands with the dark parts of my thoughts, no,  
You are all that I’ve got, no.**

_I was in my bathroom with a knife and that pain again. There was a knife in my hand with blood on it. My wrist was bleeding. Not deep enough to kill, but enough for a lot of blood to come out. Someone was sobbing loud. It was me. My wrist was starting to hurt and I could feel the blood lost. In the mirror in front of me, my Blurryface was there. She was laughing like an insane person. I was bleeding and she was laughing. “Come on, (Y/N), just end it already. You know you want to.” I shook my head no. “What you think those Winchesters or that angel care about you. You’re just a burden to them and you know it. Get it over with and END IT!”_


	2. Chapter 2

_Just like that, I was in a forest with a gorgeous waterfall. The birds were singing and the sound of running water was relaxing._

_“You seemed distressed,” a deep voice said from behind. I turned around and it was Castiel looking at with worry._

_“Please don’t tell Sam and Dean, they’ll just worry more.” I already felt like a charity case. If they knew they’d make me stop hunting for good._

_“Fine, but on one condition,” the angel said, “you tell me everything. No secrets. No lies. You need someone to make sure you’re okay, (Y/N).”_

_Cas looked more stern than worried now. His eyebrows were knitted like he was trying to figure out what I’d say next. “Okay.” He sighed in relief. After one more look at the forest, I asked, “Cas where are we?”_

_“Still in your head. This is a memory of mine. I come here to think and it’s quite beautiful. (Y/N), I’d love to give you more time here, but you’ve slept for a long time. You need to get up and eat.”_ With a snap of his fingers, I was back into my room.

When I opened my eyes Cas was kneeling next to my bed with his head tilted and an uneasy look. “Hey unless you want Sam and Dean to know something is up, I suggest you stop looking at me like I’m a wounded puppy.” He nodded his head so I knew he understood. “Get dress. I will make you something to eat.”

I walked out of the bunker in yoga pants and one of the Winchester’s shirts. Most likely Deans, most likely got mixed in with my laundry. Cas was trying to make scrambled eggs but kept getting egg shells in the mix. Sam and Dean were talking about a new case. “I think I should get back to hunting.” They all looked at me with surprised faces. Dean stood up and said, “(Y/N) you need more rest. You’ve been a little exhausted lately.” Sam nodded in agreement. I rolled my eyes, “Fine can I at least help with research. Doing nothing is driving me crazy.” The brothers looked at each having a silent conversation, “Just research that’s it,” Dean said.

It had been two hours and so far we knew it was a vamp that had a thing for young women. It was hitting bars and clubs not too far from the bunker. The police haven’t released much on the victims so the boys would have to pose as FBI. Since I made that stupid promise, I would have to wait at home until they got back. To pass the time I decided to go on a Netflix binge.

The bunker door opened and closed, footsteps were heard coming down the staircase. “Hey, what did you guys find out?” The Winchesters both looked like they found out something they didn’t want to.  Sam gave me a sad smile like he was about to give me bad news, “Um I don’t think you should be on the case.”

“What? Why I’ve only been doing research what’s the harm in that.” This wasn’t fair and they knew it. The thing has killed three girls and two have gone missing. What if they ran into more trouble than they expected? If I was out of the loop I couldn’t help them.

“Doesn’t matter,” Dean said dryly, “you’re off the case because we say so. End of Discussion.” There was no reasoning with Dean when he got like this. They clearly knew something they weren’t telling me. I didn’t speak to anyone for the rest of the day.

_“Hello, (Y/N), your little friend cut our first chat a little short,” my Blurryface had a devilish grin on her face, “so how was trying to keep yourself distracted? Clearly, it’s not working, I’m still here. Face it you are too weak to fight me and you know it. Hell even Sam and Dean know how weak you are, that’s why they didn’t want you on the case. This is just getting sad now. I keep telling you to end it, you’d be doing the whole world a favor. One less mistake people have to deal with.”_

_“No, no Cas will save me. He’ll come through any minute now.” We wait for a couple of seconds, no Cas. I tried thinking of reasons he didn’t come. Maybe he didn’t hear my prayer, he could have been having trouble entering my head, or was probably having trouble ditching the brothers. I felt the tears fall to my cheeks_

_The other me laugh, “What were you saying? ‘Oh, Cas will save me, he comes through for me.’ Please, he’s probably annoyed by you too. We both know how this ends.” She took her finger and ran it across her throat, gesturing my throat being cut._

_My knife was in my hands, but I did not cut my throat. Instead, the knife found my leg and started to slice my skin. At first, I hissed in pain, after a couple of cuts it started to feel like a high. Then why was I still crying? Why did I feel like complete shit? I closed my eyes and let the feeling take over. “(Y/N) no,” it was Cas his voice made my eyes snap open. When I blinked we were back at the waterfall._

_My leg was healed like nothing happened. Cas engulfed me in a hug and I started to sob. “She’s right. Everything she said about me was right. The boys know I’m too weak to handle the case.”_

_He gripped me tighter. “Shh. It’s okay now I’m here. She was wrong, I will always be here for you. I was late because I was with Dean, canvassing a bar and I was trying to sneak off without him noticing.” We sat there for a few minutes listening to our surroundings. Cas was the first to break the silence, “I think you’re waking up now.”_

With one blink, I was in my room and Castiel was sitting in a chair next to my bed.

I got ready to start my day and went to the kitchen, where Cas was no doubt trying to make eggs. After breakfast, I went to the war room. It looked like the boys had to leave in a hurry because all their notes and research for the case was out. I went to have a peak just to make sure the boys could handle it on their own when I saw all the victims. They all kind of looked like me. They were around my age and height, their body type was very similar too. Same eye color as well. It had just hit me that they didn’t think I was weak, they were trying to protect me.


	3. Chapter 3

“(Y/N),” Cas called out. He entered the room and stopped in his tracks once he saw me with the boys’ notes.

“Is this why they wanted me off the case?” My face heated up with anger, I thought it was all my fault. Wait a minute, “I thought it was because I was too weak, you knew and said nothing.” Before the angel could even open his mouth the bunker door opened with the Winchesters walking in. “When did you guys plan on telling me that the girls looked like me?”

“You didn’t need to know,” Dean stated, “you needed to be safe. There was no reason to have you get more involved. All you would have done was put yourself in danger and I can’t have that happening.”

“You act as if I haven’t been hunting for years and that I can’t handle myself. I’m pretty sure three skilled hunters and an angel can take on a vampire. You wanting me to be safe is bullshit and you know it. We are wasting time when you had someone who can lure it out and protective themselves.” My voice was starting to rise and I was close to shouting at Dean.

Sam decided to step in and say, “This wasn’t just his call, we were all in this. We didn’t want to take the chance of you getting hurt. We get that you’re a great hunter and all, but that doesn’t change the fact that you’re not invincible. Just let us handle this one.”

“I would have been okay with you guys handling it if you didn’t keep secrets. There’s no telling what else you’ve lied about!” I felt guilty after using those words, after all, I was lying too. My lie was still different, innocent people weren’t dying because of my lie.

At this point, Dean looked like he wanted to snap. His jaw clenched and unclenched while his eyes went dark from rage. “You can either sit here and wait until it’s over or I’ll make you wait until it’s over.”

The nerve on Dean right now, bossing me around like I’m some kid. My blood felt like it was boiling, who the hell does he think he is. “I’d be helpful and you can’t tell me it’s not true.” He said nothing but looked me up and down like he was sizing me up. Dean nodded his head, walked over to me, picked me up and threw me over his shoulder. “Dean what the fuck put me down!” I tried to squirm out of his hold but all he did was grip me tighter. He set me down in my room, holding my wrist together he pulled out a pair of handcuffs and cuffed me to my headboard.

Sam and Cas were at a loss for words, they were surprised by Dean’s actions. Dean smirked at me, “There. Comfy? We’ll come back when it’s over.” As soon as the three of them left I started working on getting the cuffs off. I pulled the bobby pin from my hair and put it in the keyhole. Adding pressure, I bent it so the pin was a similar shape to the key. Only took me a few seconds to get one off, the other one took even less time.

I grabbed my duffle full of weapons when the alarms for lockdown went off. Those sons of bitches. Charlie had reset it so it was more 2016 and I didn’t get the chance to learn how to turn it off. If Charlie set it up maybe she’d know how to take it down. I quickly dialed Charlie’s number.

“Hey (Y/N), how’s it been? Is that the bunkers lockdown alarm?”

“Um yeah, I accidentally set it off. I could use your help with turning it off.”

“Go to the electric room, by the generator, there’s a little panel where you have to type the code.”

The electric room wasn’t too far from mine. Just like Charlie had said, there was a panel next to the generator.

“Charlie do you know the password?”

“No Dean made it sorry.”

Well if Dean made it, it couldn’t be that hard to guess. My first try was “pie1979”, no luck. Next attempt was “impla67”, to my surprise it worked.

“Thanks, Charlie.” Before I said bye an idea occurred to me, “Charlie how fast can you get to the bunker and how much experience do you have in hunting?”

Thankfully, Charlie was an hour’s drive away. I felt bad for dragging another person into this mess, but I needed someone I could trust to back me up. The bunker door opened and my red headed friend greeted me with her sunshine of a smile.

“(Y/N),” she chimed while pulling me into a hug. “So what’s this hunt you need my help with and why not ask the boys instead of me?”

“Oh they are out on their own hunt, I stood behind. Look we’re kind of  running out of time, I’ll explain the case on the way to the bar. I took Charlie’s car keys from her hand, “Come on let’s go”

After explaining all the details to Charlie, the rest of the car ride was me thinking about how mad. Before we left the bunker Charlie insisted on her driving, allowing my thoughts to wonder. My blood was starting to boil again, the nightmare I had flooded my thoughts. The memories of being called weak and useless came back.

“Earth to (Y/N),” Charlie said trying to snap me out of my thoughts. “We’re here.” Looking straight ahead we were parked in front of the bar. “Are you sure you’re up for this. I don’t want you getting hurt and your head isn’t in the game.”

She was right, but I couldn’t sit back and do nothing. Better I die than some innocent girl. “I’ll be fine. Enter the bar a little bit after me. I only want you to back me up in case something goes wrong, stay back unless you must interfere.” I knew I sounded strict, I just didn’t want her to get hurt. Charlie nodded her head yes.

Once I was out of the car, the cold of the night hit me. It was like the calm before the storm, I walked in and sat down. Before I could order my drink a guy sat next me. “Two shots of tequila for me and the lady,” turning to me, “if that’s okay with you?”

I smirked, “Better make that four shots.”


	4. Chapter 4

The man was around 6’0”, fit, and had wavy brown hair that laid perfectly. No wonder girls were falling to their deaths. His eyes were a warm, welcoming brown and he had a smile that made anyone smile.

“You look like you have a lot on your mind.”

I took the shot, the liquor tingled as it went down my throat. My face started to feel a little warm.

“Yeah, I’m just looking to relieve some stress.” I knew it sounded cheesy, but I needed to seem vulnerable.

The guy was clearly checking me out, “Well maybe I can help with that. I’m Ian.” He held out his hand

“(Y/N),” I said as we shook hands.

The conversation went nice and smooth, a little too smooth. For a moment, it didn’t feel like I was speaking to a vampire. In the middle our talk, I could see the Winchesters’ and Cas’ gaze on me. Charlie was with them and Dean looked pissed.

“You wanna get out of here,” Ian was standing now.

“Sure,” I replied. I gathered my jacket and followed Ian out.

The cool breeze of the night was still there. Ian grabbed me by the waist and pulled me in close. I hope the boys were nearby.

We walked to his car, a black mustang with tinted windows. For a killer, he was surprising gentlemen like. Ian opened my door so I could get in, he then closed it and walked to his side to get in.

As soon as he was in, I moved my hidden syringe of dead man’s blood into the sleeve of my jacket. I slid it down my palm, waiting for my window to strike. Ian moved to buckle his seatbelt, leaving his neck open. Now or never.

Right as I was about to plunge the syringe, Ian turned around and grabbed my wrist.

“Oh, sweetheart, nice try.” He squeezed my wrist hard enough for me to drop the syringe. “Now I don’t like hunters, but for you, I’ll make an exception.”

I didn’t have time to fight back. The vamp grabbed a fist full of hair and slammed my head into the passenger window. There was a sharp pain, then darkness.

**Sam’s POV**

I had to stop Dean from marching over to the bar and pulling (Y/N) away.

“Dean, what’s done is done. The least we can do is back her up.” I hoped to God she knew what she was doing.

The four of us decided to play pool. (Y/N) seemed fine while she was talking to the guy. Dean’s anger made conversation awkward for everyone but Charlie. She was still as cheery as usual.

I saw the vamp and (Y/N) get ready to leave. “We should let Charlie and Cas follow them out. He might have noticed Dean staring. And guys, be subtle.”

There wasn’t a great view of the parking lot and it was poorly lit. All you could see was silhouettes moving about. Through the window I saw two sets of headlights, we assumed it was from all of them leaving. Dean and I headed out the door, only to be met by a worried Cas and Charlie.

“What the hell happened,” Dean practically yelled.

“Two cars left we don’t know which one was (Y/N),” Cas stated, “a black Mustang headed east and a blue Altima  went west.”

“Okay, you and Charlie take the Altima, Dean and I will take the Mustang.” Cas and Charlie quickly went to her car and we went to ours.

We barely caught up with the Mustang. “She’ll be alright, she’s a good hunter,” I said more for me.

“I should have never let you convince me to stay put. I should have yanked (Y/N) away from the creep.” Dean’s grip on the steering wheel tightened.

The Mustang passed the intersection, we were about to pass it but, the light turned red. Too many cars were passing through, there was no way we could pass safely.

“Son of a bitch!”

**(Y/N) POV**

My head was throbbing at the right temple. When my vision was back to normal, I wished I could be back in the blissful darkness. It looked like I could’ve been in a barn or large shed. On a table and hanging from the walls were knives and other sharp objects covered in blood. My initial instinct was to run, but I couldn’t. I was tied to a chair.

“Hello is someone there?” a voice called from behind.

“Yeah, Are you okay?”

“No, not really. He’s been slowly draining us. H-he took Gabby,” her voice faltered, “I don’t know how much more she can take.”

The girl cried out in exhaustion. I couldn’t see her, but I could imagine her shaken bruised, and just terrified.

“What’s your name?”

She tried to calm herself so she could speak. “Emma. Emma Carson. And you?”

“(Y/N). I have friends that will come looking for us. I need you to be brave for a little bit longer, okay?”

The door flung open before she could answer and in came Ian. He had a girl, who I presumed was Gabby, over his shoulder. Like a bag of laundry, Ian tossed her to the ground like she was nothing.

“Is she dead?” I asked.

“No just passed out,” in a few quick strides he was in front of me, “now that hunters have found me, I’m going to need to keep my blood supply alive. So don’t get comfy, we leave tomorrow night.”

Ian leaned down so he was in front of me, “You have such a pretty face.”

I could feel his hand cup my cheek. I felt disgusted as his thumb rub circle on my left cheek. I closed my eyes, wanting it to stop. His cold fingers slid down my neck. Before it could move to my chest, I opened my eyes and spat in his face.

“I like you,” Ian said as wiped my spit off his face, “you’ve got spunk.” The vamp inhaled deeply. “You’re still bleeding. I guess I could go for another snack.”

Fear does something to you. That adrenaline making your brain and body work overtime. Every sense is heightened, making the pain more intense. I felt his fangs pierce my neck. I heard someone shriek in pain. It took me a moment to realize it was me.


End file.
